A Man’s Guide to Less Drama

This post was inspired by a post I read by Elizabeth Potter entitled “A Woman’s Guide to Less Drama.”  It gave some wonderfully practical advice to women from a woman.  Because they came from the mouth of a woman, they are much more likely to be heard by the female audience.  If I’d written the same things, I’d have been afraid to show my face in public for fear of being stoned or drawn and quartered.  Here’s a link to her article: http://thedivineedge.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/a-womans-guide-to-less-drama/

So here is my counterpoint article, written expressly for men from a man.

Lesson Number One:

Grow up and quit expecting your wife to pick up after you like your mother did.  If you mess it up, clean it up.  Dirty clothes and dirty dishes have a place they belong and it is not where you drop them.

You now share a bathroom with a female, not another pig like yourself.  There will be towels for looks and towels for using.  Learn the difference.  Beard trimmings in the sink will result in a cool reception in the bed.

DO NOT:

Wear underwear with holes in them.

Wear anything older than ten years.

Keep the same hair style you had in high school for the rest of your natural life.

DO NOT:

Complain that your wife is emotional.  She’s a woman.  She has more chemicals and hormones running through her blood stream than are present in the soil of Chernobyl.  Accept it.

Try to fix every problem she presents you with.  That’s not why she’s talking to you about it.

DO:

Listen.

Listen.

Listen.  She talks about her problems in order to work her way to a solution.  Just the talking is her solution.  The better you listen, the sooner she’ll come to her own solution.

I repeat – listen.

DO NOT:

Assume that just because you finally got her to marry you that you can let yourself go.  That pot-belly is not attractive.  (Remember, objects in the mirror are larger than they appear.)  No woman likes to feel like she is being mounted by a walrus.

DO: 

Keep your body healthy.  Exercise.  Eat healthy.

Shave.  Bathe.  Trim your finger nails.

DO NOT:

Forget that there are days your wife will not make any sense to you whatsoever.  “Hormonal days” and “hot flashes” are very real and will produce moments of irrationality.  Bite your lip and don’t try to be “reasonable” with her.  It will pass.

Stop doing the things that won the love of your wife: flowers, gifts, date nights, restaurants, quiet times together, etc.  Whatever won her love will keep her in love with you.

DO:

Be willing to do your fair share around the house.  If she works a full-time job outside the house like you do, don’t expect her to work full-time at home without your help.  If you don’t help, she’ll resent the heck out of you.

Remember that sex is not just for you.  Be sure you take time to please her.  A man is like a microwave oven.  A woman is like a crock pot.  Give her time to warm up.

REMEMBER:

There are things about your wife you will never understand and differences that will never make sense to you.  None of that really matters.  Life is not always logical. (See my article https://thefrontwindow.wordpress.com/2011/06/20/be-happy-they-are-different/ .  There are other articles in the Family Helps Category of this site that are helpful for marriage.)