Five Advantages of being an Under-Thinker

I recently read an article that received a lot of traffic and comments on Facebook.  It was titled “18 Struggles that only Over-Thinkers will Understand.”  The author was a woman, and I dare say that her targeted audience was the female gender, as well.  Women, by and large, are the Over-Thinkers, whereas we men are the Under-Thinkers. 

Rarely is the male brain engaged.  I promise – this is true.  And here’s why:

1.  It saves wear and tear on the brain.  We all know the research that shows how that a damaged brain can take months or years to repair itself.  Thus, the female brain is in a constant state of repairing itself due to over use.  But the male brain remains essentially intact, undamaged and mostly unused, from birth throughout the life span.

2.  It prevents lots of arguments from being started.  Oftentimes a woman will expound (on and on and on) to her boyfriend/husband about an argument she had with one of her girlfriends.  Once she has made her case, she will throw out that most dangerous of questions, “Don’t you agree with me?”  Here is where the classic answer of an Under-Thinker avoids taking sides.  Cue the blank stare and the mono-syllabic response of “Huh?”  Unbeknownst to the woman, the man’s brain became disengaged after about 25 words (refer to #1 on this list to understand why).

3.  It saves money.  One of the very expensive medical tests that is performed regularly is the EEG.  This test measure voltage fluctuations resulting from ionic current flows within the brain (cue blank stare again).  Typically the graph produced from an EEG on the female brain resembles a seismograph of a 7.9 earthquake.  An EEG on the male brain?  It’s a flat line because there is no “voltage fluctuations resulting from ionic blah, blah, blah.”  Men, don’t waste your money on having an EEG.

4.  It simplifies life.  When a woman sits in her chair at home and looks around, she is thinking about all the different colors she would like to choose from to re-paint the walls, the various kinds of new furniture that would match the yet-to-be-painted walls, the choices of pictures and wall hangings that would decorate this transformed room, the shelves that would look nice in the corner, the new bay window that would replace the picture window, etc., etc., etc.  This generates what is referred to as “the honey-do list.”  A man?  He is content to keep everything the same.  I dare any woman to show me a “honey-do list” that their man has given them.  Such a document doesn’t exist.

5.  It produces contentment.  We all know that the Good Book says, “Godliness with contentment is great gain.”  Well, Under-thinkers are already halfway there.  A man is content to sit in the same duct tape repaired recliner throughout his life span.  Until the undertaker is called to peel his cold, stiff fingers off the arm of the chair and from around the remote to the t.v.  It is the picture of someone who has died a content man. (Doesn’t that bring a tear to your eye?)

Did you notice that there were eighteen struggles of over-thinkers and five advantages of being an under-thinker?  I rest my case.

So, ladies, the next time you are feeling angry because your man doesn’t seem to be listening to you, let go of your anger and join him in his land of Under-Thinking.