If so, then maybe you have unintentionally wandered into the land of reactive living. Waiting on another person’s action or mood before you act, places you in the reactive position. Your thoughts focus on the other person first, then on how you should respond. You have to stay vigilant to every nuance of change in the other person.
Living in the reactive position results in increased anxiety. The constant scanning of your environment, trying to anticipate the other person’s behavior or mood, creates an incalculable amount of stress. Now you find yourself living the life of a chameleon, which fatigues you. Ultimately you lose a sense of who you are because you only know yourself in relation to the other person.
The way of escape from living in the reactive position is focusing on being proactive. Decide what is healthy behavior for you, then act upon it – regardless of how it is viewed by others. This is exactly the kind of life Jesus lived. He didn’t let other’s opinions dictate what he did or said. He was proactive to the end. Follow his lead for it will take you to a much more satisfying life.
Stories With Heart 