Giving your child unfair advantage

This world is a tough place, especially for kids.  If you've made the decision to have a child, I'm confident you want to give them every advantage that you can.  But one of the most important advantages parents can give their children seems to have gotten lost over the last 10+ years. If you want … Continue reading Giving your child unfair advantage

Thank you Frank Pittman

Frank Pittman may be a name that you are not familiar with.  But for marriage and family therapists he was a giant in our field.  He was a champion for marriages.  He was always direct and pithy in his comments, a man who didn't mind telling you exactly how he felt. Sadly, he has died.  … Continue reading Thank you Frank Pittman


Sometimes couples' problems seem so intractable to them that the question of separation arises.  When I'm asked that question during a counseling session I get the feeling of standing on a very high precipice.  Emotionally I hold my breath for fear of saying the wrong thing. Separation is a make-or-break kind of maneuver and therefore … Continue reading “SHOULD WE SEPARATE?”

A Man’s Guide to Less Drama

This post was inspired by a post I read by Elizabeth Potter entitled "A Woman's Guide to Less Drama."  It gave some wonderfully practical advice to women from a woman.  Because they came from the mouth of a woman, they are much more likely to be heard by the female audience.  If I'd written the … Continue reading A Man’s Guide to Less Drama

What Do You See?

What Do You See? Yes, it's one of those kinds of pictures.  At first glance you have an immediate idea of what you see.  Then, upon closer inspection, you see something different. Sometimes we see what we see because that is what we want to see or expect to see.  (yes, you'll have to read … Continue reading What Do You See?

Focus On Solutions, Not Problems

Below is a quote from a recent post on the blog "A Successful Marriage." At the end of the quote is a link to the entire post. It shares some helpful thoughts for keeping your marriage moving forward. "Problems are constructed and driven by fear and resistance. Solutions are born of desire, dreams, and vision. … Continue reading Focus On Solutions, Not Problems

I Give Up

Answering the knock on my office door, I open it to find a modestly dressed man and woman in their forty’s.  Before I can welcome them, the man thrusts his meaty hand toward me. Shaking my hand so hard that my shoulder feels like it will unhinge, he says enthusiastically, “You must be David.  My … Continue reading I Give Up

Don’t Look For the Easy Way Out

“Don’t do just what is most convenient.” It was just one brief scene from our marriage that had thousands of scenes, but it was one that had the power of the burning of Atlanta scene in “Gone With the Wind.” Walking into the kitchen, I bend down and throw away some trash into the trashcan.  … Continue reading Don’t Look For the Easy Way Out