Everything I Know about Marriage I Learned on a Teeter-Totter

The playgrounds of my childhood always had two things to play on – a swing and a teeter-totter. The teeter-totter was an extremely long board fitted perpendicular to a piece of large pipe that it pivoted on. The only way to hold on and ride it was to grip the sides of the board. The … Continue reading Everything I Know about Marriage I Learned on a Teeter-Totter


“Be sensitive to the needs of your spouse.” Ending the call on her cell phone, Raquel rolls over and slowly places it on the bedside table. In a voice muffled by the bed covers, her husband, Tom, asks, “What was that?” In a voice devoid of expression, Raquel says, “It’s over.” Shifting until he is … Continue reading BE SURE YOUR RADAR IS WORKING

Finding Peace

Use all your energy in doing things that lead to peace. Driving home after working a twelve hour shift, Lavelle grips the steering wheel and grits his teeth. Of all days for us to be short a man on my crew!  Nothing went right today.  And my back and feet are killing me! Pulling into … Continue reading Finding Peace

You Might Be Right (but it doesn’t matter)

“Just because you have a right to your view doesn’t mean your spouse has to share the same view.” My mother’s voice comes to me in a dream.  “David.  Wake up.” I lie still.  Unmoving.  Dormant in my sleep state. Again she says, “David.  Wake up.” This time her voice stirs me.  My brain makes … Continue reading You Might Be Right (but it doesn’t matter)

Life is difficult enough as it is

"Don't make life more difficult for your spouse than it already is." Placing her music in her bag, Carla zips it shut.  Her checklist lies beside the bag with lines drawn through each item. “Where are you going this time?”  Richard’s voice startles her.  The sarcasm in his tone sets Carla on edge. Standing in … Continue reading Life is difficult enough as it is

The Two List Exercise

Try this simple exercise for an opportunity to enhance your marriage. You and your spouse make two lists at the end of each day, independently from each other. The first list is:  Things my spouse did for me today that made me feel appreciated. The second list is:  What I did for my spouse today … Continue reading The Two List Exercise


Tori* gives a furtive glance at the clock as she places the bowl of potatoes on the dining table.  Her green eyes widen.  Six o’clock.  The ancient Seth Thomas clock that belonged to her great-great-grandparents begins its slow marking of the hour.  Her heart pounds in time to each strike of the hammer.  The whirring … Continue reading IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU

It Doesn’t Have to Make Sense

We humans are a curious lot.  We often seem obsessed with trying to figure out how things work and why things are the way they are. So, old Isaac Newton gets conked on his head while sitting under an apple tree and begins asking why the apple fell, all the while avoiding the more important … Continue reading It Doesn’t Have to Make Sense